In February I was invited to dinner by some high school friends. I wasn’t able to attend because I was going to be in Sweden for the Scandinavian Winter Swim Championships. I had planned this six months prior when I saw an ad for a $400 round trip flight to Stockholm. So I rounded up my China team; Dave and Bill, and flew over to Sweden where we spent a week with our friends Mikael and Nils and others diving into some pretty cold waters. It was broadcast on what may have been the Swedish version of ESPN or else a Swedish show about people doing really dumb things (I dive in at about minute 9 if you are interested).http://norran.se/nyheter/tv-har-ar-hela-norrans-live-sandning-fran-dagens-masterskap-i-vintersim-533285 . This was two weeks after the first winter swim event in New York City in late January where about 60 of us dove into the Hudson River for an assortment of heats (a interesting term since the water temps were about 37F). I branched out and did freestyle at both events. And, I actually won medals both times in my age group – though I should note there were never more than 4 guys in my age group – the odds were with me.

As it turned out the high school dinner was rescheduled for April. My former high school buddies were amused that here I am nearing 60 – and not known for partaking in any sports at Wantagh High – was now gallivanting around the globe jumping into frozen lakes and rivers. These were guys I had grown up with – some knew me since I was four. And a few of them may have had a memory of my “metal” from those days.

Leg Braces
On almost every subway car there are now ads for law firms noting the multi-million dollar settlements they obtained for their clients due to defects caused at birth.  But in 1956 when a baby was born with cerebral palsy at Beth-El Hospital in Brooklyn no one thought legal action – it was sort of filed under “stuff happens – deal with it.”

Cerebral palsy is caused before or during child birth; possibly a lack of oxygen, maybe in the delivery method or who knows what. I was extremely fortunate as my cp (what I call it as “ce-re-bral pal-sy” has too many syllables) was mild and manifests itself on my right side with a slight limp and slur. This diagnosis came immediately after my folks learned that Marc, my brother two years older than me, was mentally retarded. This could have been devastating. But to their credit they dealt with it. And thus braces – 16 pounds of metal were affixed daily to my little legs from the moment I could walk. Sort of like FDR I was rarely photographed with them though there are some pictures of me wearing really baggy pants for a five year old – no doubt covering up the braces. Additionally I went for ‘PT’ (not knowing it stood for ‘physical therapy’) three times a week at the “cp” Center. My memories of wearing the braces are strong. There were heavy and cumbersome. I couldn’t run with other kids which limited my sports activities. But due to an incredible bunch of friends in the schoolyard I was always encouraged. Cliff, Don, Lester and Larry and all the others (you know who you are) never once excluded me. And if there was the rare kid that didn’t know and made fun of how I ran they got their head handed to them by my primary school posse.

Dating, Biking, Running, Swimming
My braces came off when I was six or seven. I stopped going to PT a few years later. And I never thought much about my cp (note the lower case). After I got engaged someone asked me if I discussed it with Diane. I was like, “Huh?” In fact Diane has always been my biggest supporter in every endeavor (and now she swims with me at Coney Island too!). And I always had “coaches” – cousin Rich who taught me how to ride a two wheeler (“See you made it down the driveway without me holding on!”); Bill who convinced me to run the NYC marathon (“Everyone looks funny running near the end of the race, what makes you think you’d be so special?”); and Dave as we dive into the Long Island Sound on a blustery 30F degree December day clad only in Speedos, caps, goggles and earplugs (“We can do this!”).

So what has this got to do with Donald Trump?
I followed the primaries over the last few months. Those who know me know I am a card-carrying West Side liberal (though relocated to the East Side), director of a socially progressive non-profit, sent Kerry and Madeline to socialist summer camps and go to Seders where we note that the Palestinian are refugees too. I am certainly not in the Republican voter demographic. And – similar to most pundits – I figured Donald Trump would implode. But he hasn’t. He has tapped into to a very dark side of our country. But I want to believe many of those people haven’t thought his words through to actions. And that’s what brings me back to my dinner with my high school buddies.

Memory
Over a martini and regaling (or possibly boring) a friend that night – he seemed amused with my silly winter swim stories and photos, his face turned a little pensive. He recalled an incident in gym – probably in 7th grade where there were lots of new kids who didn’t know me. At the time this friend was new too, and didn’t know me well – but he was aware that I was physically different. He remembered another kid making fun of my running during a dodge ball game. Now, it should be noted here that I have no memory of this. I tend to block memories of being made fun of due to my leg. I rarely recall details, but I certainly know the hurt, shame and stigma when it happens. But I push it far away…and move on. After sharing the memory my friend revealed to me, “I should have said something but I didn’t…and I always felt bad that I didn’t.” I was truly touched. I told him I certainly didn’t remember and he need not feel bad. We were kids. It’s all okay. And I sincerely meant it.

See something
Last November I caught the clip of Donald Trump mocking a reporter with a disability. He mimicked the reporters limp arm to a large, and what appeared to be an amused and laughing crowd. http://www.cnn.com/videos/tv/2015/11/26/donald-trump-mocks-reporter-with-disability-berman-sot-ac.cnn
Though I profess to blocking all memory of being made of fun for my leg, upon seeing him do that a billionth of a memory cell appeared somewhere in the recesses of my brain of some kid making fun of my limpy leg (probably right before Larry, Cliff, Lester or Don handed him his head). Did I really see an adult – and not just any adult but someone running for President do that? I did. I thought it would get significant attention and reveal Donald Trump’s character to his admirers. But it didn’t. And I put it back into the recesses of my mind.

Say something
That was six months ago. Now Donald Trump is the nominee for President on the Republican ticket. My mind keeps going back to the clip. It is plausible that the next President of this country will be someone who makes fun of people with disabilities. And many people seem to dismiss it as “Oh he doesn’t really mean it.’ But I can’t dismiss it. I don’t think anyone who is a caring, compassionate person can either. His words can lead to terrible things. And terrible things do happen in civilized societies.

In the early 1960’s we used to visit my brother Marc at Letchworth Village – an institution for the retarded (we aren’t PC – we did and always say Marc is retarded – it’s not a pejorative – it’s a fact). I recall an older man, with a German accent would sometimes be there visiting his son too – who was older than Marc. My father would speak to the man – who was always impeccably dressed in a double breasted suit and silk tie – in German. I asked my father about him – my eight year old curiosity piqued by the accent no doubt. On a ride back home I probably asked too many questions and my father told me that the man left Germany in the late 1930’s when his son was just a toddler. He had learned through a friend that Hitler was planning to remove all children who were retarded from their homes and place them into special schools which were in fact places where they were to be murdered. At that point I recall my mother shushing him (“Jack, stop that, he’s too young, and you don’t need to be telling him that…”)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG05UBEUHck

But it stuck with me. And as I got older I read history. And yes, terrible things happen when leaders are cruel and ignorant. Much has been written on Donald Trump. I have just chosen to give my take on this incident. I truly believe a society is best judged on how it treats those who are less “abled” – whether physically or mentally. We want – and need – leaders who understand this. I truly believe if the people who support Donald Trump think this through – and then consider the people in their lives who may not be fully “able,” they may think differently about voting for him. If they don’t and it comes to pass that Donald Trump does become President we may all be swimming in sewage.